May 2, 2012

Sometimes it just rains

No matter what you do you can't keep it from coming.  The rain comes... lighter... harder... drilling down.. or just a drizzle.  Sometimes the rain is just what I like... others I feel like it is echoing the clouded heart inside my human heart.  The latter is how i feel now.  Like this song.  Except... if you watch the video... that is so not my ending. The rain is here.  Really.

Being single is sometimes not what I want.  Is that selfish?  I have just had a bad few days of biting that bitter, cold, silver, armor piercing bullet.  I just want out of it though.  I WANT TO BE HER.  I want to be the one standing in the rain being soaked and and drinking in the still satisfaction of what has come.  I want to find joy, holy joy.  May it be found in the giving thanks for the things... the now?

I want to be rid of this silliness that comes over me. The radical emotions of a teenage school girl... but wait! I am not a teenage school girl! AHHH... Do I really want to be rid of these emotions that come over me and make me feel this childish?  Really?  NO! NOT REALLY! WHAT ARE YOU NUTS!!?  I dream of this.  But I want for all of this, first and for most to be God whom governs this dream.
Am I making sense?

It's raining now God... thank you for the rain.
I do just thank you for what I am now, and what you are doing.